


One second

by linostetic



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complicated Relationships, First Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Inspiration, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, felix is cute as hell dont mind me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linostetic/pseuds/linostetic
Summary: The moment they looked into each other's eyes, everything shifter and they both knew...that one second. Was something special.
Relationships: Lee Felix & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	One second

The timing of all of it was bad. Very bad. To be completely honest, no matter the timing, this all would have been a struggle, but the way it all went down…

Out of everything, obviously, it had to happen in front of everyone. Literally everyone. At thet moment of course it didn’t sink in, but slowly a very new feeling sat on his shoulders.

Minho fell in love. 

He whad been in love before, he knew that, but this time, it was somehow different. It felt magical, it felt like something that ’had to’ happen. It felt right.

Except, it wasn’t.

Because when you fall in love with someone who you work with, when you are famous, is extremely bad. Especially if, on top of all of this, you two are actually friends.

And it had to happen on stage, in front of the fans when they were messing around, singing and laughing, collecting the gifts and playing with each other. 

One second.

It took one second, for him to look into those eyes, eyes he had already seen before, eyes he knew so well, eyes that always looked at him with love and support. This second shouldn’t have been any different. They were a pair of beautiful eyes for sure, but never enough to make Minho blink in disbelief, like he did int hat one second. 

That one short second was full of emotions, all, which he all felt before, but not at once, not like this. And he knew what it meant. He had heard about it, never experienced though. But, he knew what it was. Love.

Minho was a confident man. He knew what he wanted, who he liked, what he liked. However it all fell apart the moment Felix looked at him, staring into his dark brown eyes for a second. They have locked eyes before, but seeing Felix like this, shining, happy, beautiful, it was different.

Different enough to make Minho stutter when later Felix asked him about the time. Different enough to make him stare at him only while they were on a ride back to the dorm. Different enough to make him dream about him that night for the first time.

Minho knew it all had to die down. It could never be fulfilled. He always dreamed about a pieceful, long lasting relationship, and he knew, with Felix it would be all drama, press, journalists, cameras, possible disappointment. Wouldn’t benefit any of them. He could do this to himself, but he could never do it all to Felix. If any of them, it was him, who deserved a pieceful, long lasting relationship more. And, also Minho wasn’t even sure if his feeling would be ever mutual. 

So what he decided to do was, to avoid the younger for a while. They had scedules together, but it didn’t mean they had to talk or sit together. Minho decided to just talk with Chan, he was the leader anyways. Anyone else he avoided, he didn’t want it all to look suspicious. He didn’t want Lix to feel like he hates him. The feelings shouldn’t last for long anyways, right?

Wrong.

It’s been three months and it only was even stronger. Especially since they had to dance together more often. Seeing Felix get better and better and not being able to properly compliment him was something that Minho never thought would hurt that much. He was thankful that Hyunjin was there too, so he could just nod while he complimented Felix. And it’s been going on quite well for a while, but he could see Felix getting discouraged and lazy about the choreo.

This particular Monday, he was a mess. Minho could see he wasn’t focusing on his moves, he was grumpy, his timing was completely off. 

„You are all over the place, Felix. Though you knew the chore well enough.” He noted, making Lix roll his eyes. Minho gulped, it wasn’t his intention to make him mad, but he knew how Lix looked like when he was mad. Just like how he looked now. 

„We all have a bad day, hyung, lose it.” Even if Minho didn’t speak perfect english, he understood all of it. He could see Hyunjin sinking into the sofa, not wanting to cross either of them. 

„If we had weeks until filming, I would say you are right, however, it is next week. Pull your shit together.” He didn’t understan why was he suddenly this harsh, maybe it was all months of emotion gathering inside of him.

„I could tell you the same.” Felix rarely talked back, but now, he looked angry.

„Now, what’s your problem?”

„What is ’my’ problem? How about you ask yourself that?” Felix raised his voice.

„I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

„Hyung, you have been a complete asshole for months now, didn’t you notice?” The sarcasm in Felix’s voice was unusual, yet Minho knew what he meant. „You don’t talk to us, don’t teach me but expect me to do as you wish. Fucking hell…” Felix walked towards his bag, picking it up quickly.

„Where do you think you’re going?” Minho was angry, how could he throw a fit in the middle of the practise? He was rarely angry, especially at Felix, but the frustration that has been building up in him for months now started to get unbearable. He couldn’t help but slightly raise his voice, so the younger would actually turn back to him. 

But what he did not expect was Felix to turn back with watery eyes. He didn’t say anything, and even Minho forgot what he wanted to get out of this. Lix turned back and stormed out of the practise room, leaving a stressed Minho and a confused Hyunjin alone.

The day was basically done at this point, Minho couldn’t concentrate so they both went home with Hyunjin. They were silent the whole ride home, neither of them felt the need to speak. Even when they got home, Minho went straight to his, and Changbin’s and Chan’s room. 

Minho was never violent. He preferred quiet, civil arguments, he always stayed collected and listened to others. Now, however, he couldn’t believe how he was behaving. He felt like everything he knew about himself was a lie. He felt like his head was suddenly heavy, all he could see when he closed his eyes was the eyes he fell in love with, but teary and red, filled with confusion and fury. That night, he went to sleep but couldn’t actually sleep, he couldn’t rest.

Felix had this delightful skill of stepping back to reality as soon as he needed to. Next morning as well, he greeted the others like any other morning, Minho as well. Minho, who couldn’t sleep a bit, sat there, eyes red, looking at the younger who seemed fine, like nothing happened. Even Hyunjin was a bit taken aback by all of this. Felix, while he can be out of focus sometimes, had an incredible amount of strenght when it came to their job. 

What Minho didn’t know, was that Felix changed as well in that one second. Felix loved ’love’,although he was never good at it, more like a hopeless romantic. He had a lot of crushes in his life, loved plathonically taking care of others, and loved being loved. What he never experienced ever was what others might call ’destiny’ in a way. He never felt like something was actually meant to be, he always, in the end, was left feeling alone.

Felix knew it was different now. Other than the same, old feeling of a crush, when he looked into Minho’s eyes he felt a reason. He felt like, for the first time, it was ok to feel like this. That somehow it was meant to be in that one second.

He was the type to tell everyone about himself, to say shamelessly too much, then feel like he is a burden and distance himself. Maybe he did i again, he thought. He shouldn’t have been angry. Maybe, Minho just goes through something, and he all made it worse. That is all he could think about that night.

The next few weeks were rather quiet. Both of them acted like before. No sign of excitement, them both just doing their jobs, performing, going to classes, writing, dancing, interviews. They knew how all these went, these were familiar to them. Being busy let them be able not to converse as much as they actually both wanted to. Just to talk it out. But they couldn’t do it, they knew. 

Not even when Felix looked so beautiful, more than ever, in that white shirt the stylist gave to him for that one performance, not when Minho danced all night and came home all sweaty and shining. Not when Felix was in the kitchen baking for everyone and asking them to taste it for him, not when Minho took a bite and felt the hot chocholate melt ing his mouth, and definitely not, when Felix was looking at him with stars in his eyes, waiting for his answers about how the cookie tasted.  
Minho was laying in his bed one night, jazz music playing from his phone, humming a lovely tune, when Changbin entered their room. He came home quite late, but not as late as Chan, so it was only two of them in the room. Minho was never someone who was just singing by himself, especially not smiling like an idiot. Changbin wasn’t stupid, he knew his friend well. He had noticed the signs before, Minho was acting unusually lately, but now, he was sure. He stepped closer to Minho’s phone that was on his bed and stopped the music. 

„Hey!” Minho turned to him, almost scaring the other. Changbin sat down to the bed next to Min, threw his jacket to his own bed.

„Who is it?” He asked bluntly. Minho, confused, was blinking at him.

„What do you mean who?”

„Who are you in love with? And don’t even try to deny it, I know you.” Minho suddely felt afraid. Exactly what he wanted to avoid, someone to notice how he was feeling. He felt hot now, knowing well his ears were turning red, as well as his cheeks. He sat up, carefully, not looking at Changbin, but the floor, putting his legs down.

„It doesn’t matter.” It was all he could mumble, feeling scared of the shame. 

„It does.” Changbin put his hand on his thigh, understanding the delicate situation he lowered his voice. „Of course it does, listen i know it is hard for us, it always will be, but…”

„Felix.” Minho cut in, making Changbin open his eyes wild, half in disbelief, half in relief that the other finally spoke. 

„I had a feeling actually.” He giggled lightly. Minho turned to him, trying to find out how. He thought he was discrate enough. „There’s a way you look at him. Different, way different than how you look, for example, at me. I thought I was seeing things though.” Changbin swinged his arm around Minho’s shoulders, giving him a small hug. He was smiling, at it looked like, there was no shame in what he was talking about. It made Min ease up just a bit. 

„Ah, really?” He chuckled. „Am I that obvious?” Changbin awkwardly nodded. 

Somehow it was freeing telling Changbin this. Minho felt like how he was holding it in was getting too much to handle alone. He appreciated the younger. 

„Are you telling him?” Ah yes, that question Minho knew the answer to perfectly. 

„No.”

„Why?”

„You know well why.”

„I thought you didn’t care about shit like that.”

„I don’t. I don’t care about being hated and shamed but when it involves someone I care for, I do. They don’t deserve it.” He was serious.

„You don’t deserve it either.” Changbin whispered, and even though Minho at this point didn’t agree, he appreciated it. It made him warm again, felt like someone finally understood him. He suddenly felt crying, which he never does. „Oh come on, cry it out, I won’t tell anyone.” Changbin spoke and Minho immediately buried his face into his hands. 

Tears ran down his face, slipping through between his thin fingers, the salty taste in his mouth grew as he was whimpering. And Changbin listened, caressing his back, he listened, just how Minho used tol isten to him, to the others. Minho thought about Felix, his face when he was crying, how he never wants to see that sight again ever.

„What should I do, Changbin?” Minho asked when he was done crying his eyes out. He was clueless. He now recognized how deeply in love he was. 

„Do you really love him?” Changbin asked, Min slowly nodded. 

He really was in love with Felix. How weird it was, Lix was never really his type. He never really had a set type. But there was something in the way he always took care of Minho, in a way no one else ever did, with care and Minho hadn’t noticed it for years. Felix was beautiful, talented, smart, interesting, joyful and Minho could only think of holding him forever between his arms.

„Then tell him. You know him, whatever his feelings might be, he will still love you the way you are and never judge.” Changbin was trying to reassure him.

„I can’t do that to him.”

„You won’t have to do it alone.” Changbin hugged him, and Minho felt the tears come again. He doesn’t have to do it alone, he has them. But would it be right? 

It’s such a shame that they have a glass door as their shower door, Felix felt like he couldn’t be ever alone. He was sitting on the cold floor, letting the hot water fall on him, while he was hugging his own legs. he was not crying, he was feeling numb. He was tired. He wanted to be alone, just for a bit, but that is quite hard when you live together with seven other people. Showering was his way out of it, but the glass door didn’t leave him with enough privacy.

Would it be always like this, he asked himself. He has to be seen all the time, shown his own emotions, even when he himself doesn’t know them? That is how he felt in this household, in this industry and even with his own feelings. People always sayyou should show your true feelings but what if they are scary? What if they can ruin a friendship? Multiply friendhips? Their careers? 

He tried to be strong, he really did. He tried to suprass his own emotions, tried telling himself, it’s nothing, but a stupid, little crush. It’s Minho, the Minho who thaught him to dance, to speak in korean, who taught him how to cook korean food, who welcomed him, who was always there whenever it was getting hard for him. It was his friend. Only his friend. 

He thought a lot about that dance practise. It was almost impossible to see Minho angry, ever. But that day Felix was just too into his own thought, he couldn’t concentrate. He was thinking about the exact same person he was with, trying to look cool, trying to loosen up and finally not be so nervous in front of him, but it backfired. Terribly.   
If he could make Minho this angry with only trying to look cool in front of him one time, imagine how would he react if he told him about his feelings. Not platonic, but romantic feelings. Minho didn’t like him, he figured. It’s not like it is the first time someone didn’t like him back, but it’s not ’someone’. It hurt way more than any other thing has hurt him. He had to accept he will never be able to look him in his eyes he did before. He will never be able to hold his hand, smile at him. Hug him, or, especially that, kiss him. 

The air was getting heavy and hot so he decided it was time he finally come out of the shower. His head was still cloudy from crying. He exited, the cold air his him almost painfully so he searched for his towel. Which he realized, he forgot to put closer. He was so annoyed and tired at this point, he stepped out the shover, completely wet and naked, not even noticing the door opened.

Fuck.

There they were again, looking into each other’s eyes, except one of them tried hard to keep looking at the other’s eyes, while the other was completely frozen. It took a second for them to completely understand what just happened. Minho blinked a few, then shutting the door instantly. 

„Sorry, I had no idea you were in!” Felix heard from outside the door. It wasn’t the first time they opened the door to each other, it happens when eight guys live together, but the fact that it was the both of them was now slightly embarassing for them. And terrifying. 

Minho laid his back against the wall. He literally ran back to his room and shut the door. He felt his ears turn red, his mouth get dry and a knot form in his stomach. He closed his eyes.

„What did just happen?” Chan and Changbin were indeed in the room, witnessing all of Minho’s reactions which after realizing, just made him redder.

„You walked in on him showering or what?” Chan joked, but Minho’s reaction wasn’t as funny as it was terrified. „Oh, you did. Does he look that bad or what?” Oh, Chan if you had any idea.

Felix looked mervellous, his light blond hair stuck to his wet skin, water droplets across his face, his neck, his collarbones. Minho couldn’t just tell him that. Chan however was smart, he suddenly knew.

Chan in fact kind of saw both sides. He knew both of them well after all. He saw Felix acting different around Minho, him kind of fishing for compliments, hugs, even more than usual. He saw Minho get shy around Lix, trying to take care of him, teach him. Look at him in a way none of them did. Chan knew them. Changbin knew about Minho and his feelings. 

Minho was the one not understanding his own feelings completely. So when Chan came to him because he was suddenly looking pale, all he could do is apologize.

„Never apologize for this.” Minho smiled at him, calming down. Hearing Chan saying these words were reassuring.

On the other hand, Felix was freaking out.

’Oh shit, oh fuck.’ He was now in his room, trying to act completely normal in front of Seungmin, who was sitting on the other bed, but failing hard. He was shaking. How can he always make Minho uncomfortable? Because he was clearly uncomfortable. Looked like that. 

The others were having dinner already, but Lix didn’t feel like eating. More like, going to meet Minho. He stayed in his room, bundling up. The other’s however were a bit worried about him, he rarely stayed in when they ate, even if he didn’t eat, he still always went out to spend time with them.

„Ordered some to him, but maybe he doesn’t feel great?” Should we just make him some soup?” Chan asked, looking, quite obviously at Minho. Minho was also a bit worried and decided to put it all aside, he was one of the best cooks in the team anyways. He stayed in the kitchen after the others left, making a simple chicken soup. It took just thirty minutes only, but he spent like ten minutes debating if he should bring it in or just knock on his door. Seungmin is probably in the room too, he thought, so it would be ok. 

He knocked on the door, hearing a light ’come in’. Felix was on his bed, alone in the room, making a little burrito out of himself with his blanket. He looked incredibly tiny. The moment he spotted Minho however, he opened his half-sleeping eyes, almost like he suddenly froze. Which he kind of did. Minho cleared his throat.

„Is everything ok? You look sick, I made you some soup?” Felix still stayed quiet, which made the other worry slightly. He closed the door behind him with his foot, going closer to Felix’s bed. Lix was following him with his eyes as he sat down next to him on th ebed.

„Are you sick? Do you need meds?” Minho asked again and felix hesitated a bit, but shook his had. 

„Just tired.” He answered, taking down the blanket. Minho gave him the soup, but quickly touched his forehead. Felix once again, stopped, observing the other, becoming slightly red. Minho as well, the tip of his ears became blushed. There they were, again, in that one second, feeling like the time stopped again and it was just the two of them in the world, no one else. Minho feeling Felix’s forehead with his soft fingers, his breath lingering on Lix’s neck, Felix being afraid to breath, like it would end this moment. 

„Eat it all, you do look a bit sick.” Minho broke the moment, taking his hand back. Lix nodded, but he couldn’t eat. Minho saw, decided to take the bowl out of his hands. „It’s ok I will help.” He said, taking a bit on the spoon and with a bit of shaky hands, handing it towards Lix’s mouth. „Open up.”

And Felix obeyed, slowly eating more and more while Minho was silently feeding him. The warm soup helped him warm up, but also, he felt something even warmer. Minho didn’t speak for a while, he was still worried.

„Tell me, what did stress you enough to make you sick?” He smiled at him. 

’If you knew…” Felix thought.

„I’m just tired in general I think, nothing serious. You shouldn’t worry about me.”

„Of course I should, why shouldn’t I?”

„Because it’s nothing serious.”

„I would literally kill anything that would hurt you even the slightest.” Minho didn’t even realize what he was saying at first, then he just giggled it off. His heart ached when Felix didn’t laugh with him. He was afraid he would see his tears again. He sighed, taking the bowl down to the little table next to them and scooping closer to Felix, who was looking down. Without thinking, he embraced the other, hugging him thight. He was wishing to do it for a while, but he was too stubborn. Felix’s love language was literally hugs and he knew that, and now, he somehow knew he needed that, no selfish reason had it’s place. He felt Lix putting his forehead on his shoulders and start to sob. Exactly what he was afraid of.

„ Do you hate me?” He heard Lix whisper. How would he ever hate him? Is that really what it seems like? All he can do? Is to hurt Felix?

„I’ve never hated you.”

Felix suddenly broke free from his hug, cupping his cheecks with his hands. He felt his heart rate fasten, the knot in his stomach tighten. Minho’s ears were now as red as blood, he looked into the other’s teary eyes again. 

Felix had enough. Even if he will hate him, he has to do it, he has to say it, but how?

How?

He didn’t have to find out. Minho finally gave in, placing their lips together, the taste of the salty tears didn’t matter now, all that mattered was Felix’s soft lips against his. And Lix kissed back. He felt releaved, his tears ran down, but they were not sad anymore. He pulled Minho closer, laying back to the bed, Minho against his hot body. They kissed until it became sloppy, not one of them wanting to stop, both having enough of this mess. Even if just for a second, they wanted to feel good. To feel each other. 

Minho placed a last little kiss on his lips before kissing his neck, loving to hear Felix moan quietly. His played around, only touching his skin with his nose, making him giggle. Finally, no tears. Minho smiled into the next kiss which was followed by a small little bite. And another. And another.

„Please don’t stop.” All Felix said and Min obeyed. He wanted to make his skin marked up, just to show that even if for a second, Felix was his. When his neck was all wet and purple, his hand wandered under the other’s shirt. Felix suddenly remembered the bathroom accident, he got shy for a minute, but he trusted Minho.

That is the thing, he knew Minho, he knew he could trust him, right? Why didn’t he trusted him enough to talk to him. He would never hate him, no, not Minho. Felix suddenly felt regretful. But, when he felt Minho’s soft fingers on his skin, he forgot all of it. He trusted him once and for all. 

Minho sat up, taking his shirt of, he was hot and sweaty already. He didn’t care anymore, he didn’t care if it was selfish or dangerous. He wanted to make Felix happy and his. He didn’t waste time, threw off the shirt and grabbed Lix’s ones, signalling to him to take it off. Felix sat up as well, now they were facing each other. Felix slowly lifted his hands, along eith his shirt, revealing his skin. Minho knew Felix had freckles, now however, he had the priviledge to place a kiss on as many as he could. 

He was kissing down on Felix, the other playing with his hair softly. Felix was already hard, Minho could see and it made him happy. Felix likes him after all.

„Do you want me to stop?” He sat up, looking into his eyes. Felix hesitated for a minute.

„Do you want to?”

„No.”

„Then don’t. But...” Felix stopped for a while. „Have you ever…” Minho was amused of how shy he suddenly got.

„Yes. You?” He didn’t even had to ask to know, but he did. 

„Not with men.”

„As soon as you tell me to stop I will.”

But Felix didn’t tell him to stop. He wanted to feel him inside him. He wanted to make love to him.

And it might have been a bit painful at first, just like their whole dynamic was, he trusted Minho. He trusted him enough to let him lead, to let him feel good. He loved the feeling of Minho’s lips all over him, he loved feeling his skin on his fingers, he loved kissing him, moaning his name in pleasure. Minho had to tell him off a few times to stay quiet but in fact neither of them minded, really. In the end, both of them came, moaning into yet another sloppy kiss, sweaty and tired, but happy.

Because both of them knew, all of this will not lost only for one second, but so much more.

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @linostetic


End file.
